Workshop for Part 4
(Same questions as for draft #1)
Overall1. What do you like best about the paper?
(Same questions as for draft #1)
Overall1. What do you like best about the paper?
I really like the fact that I learned so much. I also like how much detail and examples she has put in to it.
2. Email the author and ask for one particular concern that s/he had about the draft. Examine that area and see if you can offer the author helpful suggestions.
Elizabeth was a little concerned about her sources and when she is supposed to cite them.
Elizabeth was a little concerned about her sources and when she is supposed to cite them.
Thesis3. Does the author clearly express his/her opinion of the topic in the thesis? What argument does the thesis make?
Even with all its benefits, nuclear power is not a safe alternative.
4. What group of people agrees with the author?
Those who are against nuclear power.
What group disagrees with the author?
Those who are in favor of nuclear power.
5. Does the paper have an argumentative thesis statement using ALTHOUGH and BECAUSE?
Yes, at the end of the first paragraph.
Yes, at the end of the first paragraph.
Content6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how interesting did you find this paper to read? Be brutally honest! (Friends don’t let friend turn in boring essays!)
I found Elizabeth’s 2nd draft much more interesting than the first one. I would give her a 7 on the interesting scale.
7.Where can the author more fully develop ideas, either by providing examples or explaining/clarifying concepts for the reader? Be specific (e.g. “the 3rd is dullsville”; “the conclusion is really vague”).
I feel that Elizabeth should cite more sources of where she got her information from... even when she isn’t quoting an author. Any information she has obtained from another source, should be cited.
I think that she should be more aware of her punctuation in some areas. My word program picked up some mistakes automatically.
Also, Elizabeth doesn’t seem like she is completely convinced of her stance, according to her first paragraph. I would consider revising it a bit. Maybe taking out so many possible benefits of nuclear power and more thesis support.
Maybe you could add a paragraph or two with counter arguments from a specific source or two. That would also help meet the length requirements.
8.What kinds of objections might someone who disagrees with the author’s point of view raise? If there are none, go back to #3. That nuclear power has some good points.
Maybe you could add a paragraph or two with counter arguments from a specific source or two. That would also help meet the length requirements.
8.What kinds of objections might someone who disagrees with the author’s point of view raise? If there are none, go back to #3. That nuclear power has some good points.
9.Has the author dealt with these objections? Yes, she has listed the positive points of nuclear power.
10.Is the relationship between each paragraph and the thesis clear? If not, what suggestions do you have for the author to improve the connection? Yes, I think she does a good job of revealing all of them nuclear power downfalls.
Style11. Are there easy transitions from one paragraph to the next, or does the author jump from topic to topic? Yes, it transitions easily.
12. Does the opening of the essay capture the reader’s attention? How so? If not, what suggestions can you make that might strengthen the opening?
It still doesn’t seem to grab my attention. Maybe a fact about nuclear energy might grab my attention more.
It still doesn’t seem to grab my attention. Maybe a fact about nuclear energy might grab my attention more.
13. Does the concluding paragraph serve to bring the discussion to an end that logically follows from the thesis and its direction?
It’s a good summary of the entire paper. It flows well.
It’s a good summary of the entire paper. It flows well.
Research14. How many different sources are cited in the paper (don’t look at Works Cited; look at the parenthetical citations. The medium does not matter.)
I found 6.
I found 6.
15. Does the author rely heavily on just 1 or 2 sources, or does the author equally use all of the sources to support the paper’s thesis?
She doesn’t rely heavily on just 1 or 2, no. She uses a variety of them throughout her paper.
She doesn’t rely heavily on just 1 or 2, no. She uses a variety of them throughout her paper.
16. Does the author have more quotes in his/her paper than personal opinion? No.
17. Are there any sources listed on the Works Cited that are not cited within the body of the essay? (This is a no-no)
Yes, Elizabeth should cite (in her paper) every one of her “works cited” sources.
Yes, Elizabeth should cite (in her paper) every one of her “works cited” sources.
18. Is all the information retrieved from research, including opinion, ideas, paraphrases, quotes, and statistics, cited with in-text (parenthetical) citations? If not, list specifics of what needs to be cited (friends don’t let friends turn in plagiarized papers).
I think there are a lot of places that she needs to add in the citations. Any information that she received from another source, needs to be cited in her paper.
I think there are a lot of places that she needs to add in the citations. Any information that she received from another source, needs to be cited in her paper.
19. All quotes in research papers should be commented upon. Does the author comment after every quote? If not, help the author decide what the underlying reason behind putting the quote in the paper was.
Yes.
Yes.
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