Week 5 Reading Response - #1

After reading Tannen’s essay ending on page 835, I am aware that she recognizes the everyday problems that mothers and daughters encounter. Her reasons make sense. Nobody else, but a caring mother could know her daughter as well as she does. Although this may seem like a blessing, it can actually cause problems within the relationship as well. Tannen describes “metamessages” between mothers and daughters which aren’t easily kept from each other, because their relationships are so extensive. A mother and daughter almost seem to know each other too well.

Tannen also gave some examples of “metamessages.” Something that may seem as innocent as gift giving can turn into a possible argument. For example, a mother could give her daughter a cook book which could potentially cause her daughter to question the intent of the gift. Why would her mother buy her a cook book? Maybe she would assume that her mother doesn’t think she cooks well or as often as she should.

I agree with Tannen’s opinion of why mothers and daughters have problems communicating. I have experienced the same problems in my relationship with my mother and know we have run into the similar situations. I don’t like being judged by my mom and she probably feels that at times, she’s walking on “eggshells” when speaking to me.

I have four daughters and one son. The way my son and I communicate is different than the way my daughters and I do. I am not exactly sure why. I guess that is something that I’d have to look into. I’ve noticed that most mothers and sons interact differently than mothers and daughters. I am sure there is a sophisticated explanation for that, but I haven’t done enough research to completely understand it.